started off badly but got better. i went to give mail a book at one of those postal service trucks. i didnt see anyone, so i placed the book inside. but i was concerned that someone else could come by and reach the book and take it. (relaying this is very painful for me.) i walked about 20 or 30 feet away and then returned. then someone was in the truck. (prob in the truck prior to this, but just away from sight.) i told him i left a book. he responded rudely. like yea, so? fuckin bastard. i then asked for my book back cause i was concerned firstly that he might do something to the book and secondly, well my name and address were on the book. i said to him, i have your number, meaning i knew how to report him. i dont know how he interpreted that but he said, he had my number too. i walked away and then went back, this time i was yelling. another customer was there. the clerk seemed to be civil to him. i was hurt and said, "you could have been civil," or something to that effect. the clerk kept looking at the current customer. then i went to the subway. got a seat and was crying for the next 20 or so minutes. (i could almost cry now just thinking about it. i was really hurt.)
i get this kind of treatment a lot. let me describe him. he was a black man, i guess in his late thirties. so how do i interpret this. this is how: i am a white, fat, middle aged ugly unassertive woman. the world treats me like shit, as did this man. i know i should really report him, but its either do that now or post here and i am enjoying ending my work day by writing something on my blog. (rt now, no working home computer.)
ok, the day got better cause i did some shopping. i had a large store credit and got a lot of good buys, so im happy, well, a little happier. i love to shop. i guess many woman do.
my daughter begs me to take her to a mall. i feel guilty that i rarely do that. what are we gonna do there. shes gonna want this and that and this. and im gonna have to say no and shes gonna try to wear me down. i prefer shopping on the internet. i can comparison shop easily.
i am upset about something my husband said last night. i was laying down, and he motioned to my big belly. he doesnt usually say anything about my weight. i have been gaining wt on a steady basis lately. still, it hurt me. about three years ago i was about 60 lbs thinner. he didnt compliment me then at all. all he did do was say how he didnt like how my breasts hung then. well, jeez. if your skin has been stretched from fat, and then you lose the fat, what should you expect. well, despite that, i looked great. but received no reinforcement from him. no i dont blame him for my gaining the wt back, but he could have (and i think should have) responded in a much more positive way.
Tuesday, July 10, 2007
Monday, July 9, 2007
MISC.
this is my part of an email i sent to a coworker today. just a little tidbit of my life when i was young:
my grandmother remarried a man who happened to be very wealthy.
but, alas, that marriage didnt work out either.
grandma did get a nice settlement out of it.
my mother didnt think harry was such a bad man. she felt grandma was partly to blame for the marriage not working out, but i cant recall why now.
my grandma said he was very mean and didnt want any of her family there.
and my mother worked and was herself divorced, so she needed grandma to watch me on a regular basis.
my grandma used to try to hide the fact that i was there.
once, i broke a doorstop. my frantic grandma put it back together as best she could.
harry apparently noticed (and i guess assumed i broke it) cause when he arrived home from work he pu the stopper and thru it on the floor, and of course it broke again.
one time, (and this story terrorizes me, altho i have no memory of it) my mom was running late from work.
in order to avoid harry seeing me, my grandmother (who lived on kings highway in bklyn-a four lane road with lights) placed me in one of the islands (cause that was where my mom would see me, and strongly told me not to move (thats how she relayed that story to me). well, thank goodness i didnt. (i even took orders well then) my mother did see me, than goodness. i believe i was three or four.
grandma and i once did run into harry at Brighton beach. (years after their divorce) and she had me approach him and ask him if he wanted to speak with her. he said no.
my grandfather also remarried. she was a younger woman, but was a little weird and didnt take such good care of herself. (my grandmother did.) they remained married till my grandfather died. however, about two years before, he moved in with my parents and me cause he and his wife were having problems. (i cant even remember her name.)
and now that i think of it, my grandfathers wife rarely came during the holiday get togethers.
-------------------------
accomplished some cleaning once again this weekend:
3 or four washes
2 or 3 sets of dishes in the dishwasher
earlier this week i set up that thing that you put in the toilet bowl to keep it clean. problem is, with the way my bowl is shaped, the water doesnt touch the thingy that much. (i hate cleaning toilet bowls. i guess everyone does, but not everyone avoids it as well as i.)
DH got ill 2am on sunday. he had severe constipation. he was really, really uncomfortable. well, i did the good wifely thing and ran out (2 in the morning, remember?) , went to an all nite pharmacy and pu medicine to help him. as it happens, when i returned, which was prob all of 20 minutes later, he had a BM and felt much better. but his dear wife looked good. i dont mean physically (cause i dont look good that way any more). i mean i did a good thing and i think he thinks (and complains to his therapist) that i dont do much. so thank goodness, i had the opportunity to do something. (and i did it.)
this is my part of an email i sent to a coworker today. just a little tidbit of my life when i was young:
my grandmother remarried a man who happened to be very wealthy.
but, alas, that marriage didnt work out either.
grandma did get a nice settlement out of it.
my mother didnt think harry was such a bad man. she felt grandma was partly to blame for the marriage not working out, but i cant recall why now.
my grandma said he was very mean and didnt want any of her family there.
and my mother worked and was herself divorced, so she needed grandma to watch me on a regular basis.
my grandma used to try to hide the fact that i was there.
once, i broke a doorstop. my frantic grandma put it back together as best she could.
harry apparently noticed (and i guess assumed i broke it) cause when he arrived home from work he pu the stopper and thru it on the floor, and of course it broke again.
one time, (and this story terrorizes me, altho i have no memory of it) my mom was running late from work.
in order to avoid harry seeing me, my grandmother (who lived on kings highway in bklyn-a four lane road with lights) placed me in one of the islands (cause that was where my mom would see me, and strongly told me not to move (thats how she relayed that story to me). well, thank goodness i didnt. (i even took orders well then) my mother did see me, than goodness. i believe i was three or four.
grandma and i once did run into harry at Brighton beach. (years after their divorce) and she had me approach him and ask him if he wanted to speak with her. he said no.
my grandfather also remarried. she was a younger woman, but was a little weird and didnt take such good care of herself. (my grandmother did.) they remained married till my grandfather died. however, about two years before, he moved in with my parents and me cause he and his wife were having problems. (i cant even remember her name.)
and now that i think of it, my grandfathers wife rarely came during the holiday get togethers.
-------------------------
accomplished some cleaning once again this weekend:
3 or four washes
2 or 3 sets of dishes in the dishwasher
earlier this week i set up that thing that you put in the toilet bowl to keep it clean. problem is, with the way my bowl is shaped, the water doesnt touch the thingy that much. (i hate cleaning toilet bowls. i guess everyone does, but not everyone avoids it as well as i.)
DH got ill 2am on sunday. he had severe constipation. he was really, really uncomfortable. well, i did the good wifely thing and ran out (2 in the morning, remember?) , went to an all nite pharmacy and pu medicine to help him. as it happens, when i returned, which was prob all of 20 minutes later, he had a BM and felt much better. but his dear wife looked good. i dont mean physically (cause i dont look good that way any more). i mean i did a good thing and i think he thinks (and complains to his therapist) that i dont do much. so thank goodness, i had the opportunity to do something. (and i did it.)
Friday, July 6, 2007
BIRACIAL ADOPTION
I have read a lot about adoption in the last year. Not cause I have any personal involvement, but cause I read a blog about a woman who adopted a biracial child.
I now have the answer to prejudice and discrimination. Everyone must adopt a child out of their race. They will then become the ultimate defenders of their child’s race. And rightly so. I am not being flippant. I mean it. I believe there would be not racial prejudice if everyone had to adopt like this. These women are extremely attuned (by these women, I mean the blog writers. I’ve read more than one, although I frequent only that one on a regular basis.) They worry so much about how their child is going to be accepted. How to arm their child if they’re not. How to do their hair properly. I’m white (if you haven’t guessed.) And white adopters of black children are very cautious in making sure their child’s hair is done in an appropriate way: both the get approval from the black community and not to get disapproval from the white community. The feeling is that the black community will tsk tsk if they see a white adopted parent who doesn’t do their child’s hair correctly. And whites will think less of the child if the hair looks messy, and not neat, as with braids (that’s for girls.). I’m not sure about boys.
I now have the answer to prejudice and discrimination. Everyone must adopt a child out of their race. They will then become the ultimate defenders of their child’s race. And rightly so. I am not being flippant. I mean it. I believe there would be not racial prejudice if everyone had to adopt like this. These women are extremely attuned (by these women, I mean the blog writers. I’ve read more than one, although I frequent only that one on a regular basis.) They worry so much about how their child is going to be accepted. How to arm their child if they’re not. How to do their hair properly. I’m white (if you haven’t guessed.) And white adopters of black children are very cautious in making sure their child’s hair is done in an appropriate way: both the get approval from the black community and not to get disapproval from the white community. The feeling is that the black community will tsk tsk if they see a white adopted parent who doesn’t do their child’s hair correctly. And whites will think less of the child if the hair looks messy, and not neat, as with braids (that’s for girls.). I’m not sure about boys.
I AM A JEWISH WOMAN
I am a Jewish woman. And I am scared. I feel that no one likes the Jews. Ok, the Jews like the Jews, although even they have disagreements amongst themselves. The orthodox and the conservative and the reformed and the chabad and the bucharian: they all stand in judgment of each other. The only time we can get them together is when other groups stand in judgment of us. I actually believe that about other groups as well. All groups (including Jews) dislike (perhaps are afraid of) other groups. I guess we all feel more comfortable with what we are familiar with. Perhaps we feel they want to hurt us. Perhaps they feel that they are getting a smaller piece of the pie than other groups. Perhaps they really do believe the stereotypes (and frankly, some of them may be true.)
Anyway, I was talking about Jews. And like I said I am scared. Let’s see. We have jimmy carter and Noam Chomsky (and my Jewish BIL who agrees with Chomsky- now that’s real scary.) And Vanessa Redgrave, although I don’t believe she’s been that vocal about these things lately. Oh, and I used to be able to count on the democrats for Israeli support. Now it’s the conservatives I must side with. And that’s hard for me because i’m more in line with the dems. (Actually, at least socially, I see myself as a libertarian, but that’s another story. And another post.) Ok, you’re thinking. They don’t hate Jews. They just don’t like Israel. Pshaw. Dislike of a country is dislike of the people there. For god sakes, the country doesn’t run itself. Its citizens run it. Duh. So if you hate the country, you hate the people there. At least that’s how I see it.
Ya know Jews didn’t go into Israel and take over. Britain (remember them?) gave the land to the Jews after what happened during WW2. (Holocaust, anybody?) I am not that knowledgeable about history, so I am unable to go into the specifics of it, but the land was given to them. So if you have a beef with Jews having Israel, go to Britain. Yea, that’s right. Have the guts to pick on a bigger country. Rather than a whole bunch of countries which surround Israel picking on them. Although, mind you, I believe Israel is very strong. Thank goodness for that.
Okay. Don’t get me wrong. I have nothing against Britain. I happen to think they’re the best friend the US has. (Oh, did I mention that is where I live. It just occurred to me that you might be thinking I live in Israel. Nope. US citizen. Born and bred. And very proud of it too. )
Incidentally, I don’t understand why Christians dislike Jews. That’s the biggest irony of them all. Does that make sense to you? How can you dislike a religion when the top people you pray to share the same religion? This is the most ridiculous thing I have every heard of. Christ is turning over in his grave (and over and over and over) from what Christians have had the audacity and the stupidity to do to and say about Jews.
I’m afraid I have to end here. To be contd another time.
I know this may not be the most thought out or best written post. Any questions or comments, feel free.
Anyway, I was talking about Jews. And like I said I am scared. Let’s see. We have jimmy carter and Noam Chomsky (and my Jewish BIL who agrees with Chomsky- now that’s real scary.) And Vanessa Redgrave, although I don’t believe she’s been that vocal about these things lately. Oh, and I used to be able to count on the democrats for Israeli support. Now it’s the conservatives I must side with. And that’s hard for me because i’m more in line with the dems. (Actually, at least socially, I see myself as a libertarian, but that’s another story. And another post.) Ok, you’re thinking. They don’t hate Jews. They just don’t like Israel. Pshaw. Dislike of a country is dislike of the people there. For god sakes, the country doesn’t run itself. Its citizens run it. Duh. So if you hate the country, you hate the people there. At least that’s how I see it.
Ya know Jews didn’t go into Israel and take over. Britain (remember them?) gave the land to the Jews after what happened during WW2. (Holocaust, anybody?) I am not that knowledgeable about history, so I am unable to go into the specifics of it, but the land was given to them. So if you have a beef with Jews having Israel, go to Britain. Yea, that’s right. Have the guts to pick on a bigger country. Rather than a whole bunch of countries which surround Israel picking on them. Although, mind you, I believe Israel is very strong. Thank goodness for that.
Okay. Don’t get me wrong. I have nothing against Britain. I happen to think they’re the best friend the US has. (Oh, did I mention that is where I live. It just occurred to me that you might be thinking I live in Israel. Nope. US citizen. Born and bred. And very proud of it too. )
Incidentally, I don’t understand why Christians dislike Jews. That’s the biggest irony of them all. Does that make sense to you? How can you dislike a religion when the top people you pray to share the same religion? This is the most ridiculous thing I have every heard of. Christ is turning over in his grave (and over and over and over) from what Christians have had the audacity and the stupidity to do to and say about Jews.
I’m afraid I have to end here. To be contd another time.
I know this may not be the most thought out or best written post. Any questions or comments, feel free.
Thursday, July 5, 2007
two accomplished days
Ok. Once again I did some shopping. Once again, a lot of work. This time ballet stuff for DD who goes to a dance camp. I only had two tan tights for her. That meant I had to wash the tights at least every other day. Plus, if one disappears (and in my home that’s a likelihood) I would only have one and would have to wash every day. (Oh, god no!!!!) So I ordered two more today. Plus a sleeveless leotard. Apparently, the girls stop using the short sleeved ones at this age. However, we have five or six at home, and they still fit DD, so I bought just one sleeveless for her. I would have liked to have bought more, but what about the ones she has. I feel kinda guilty, but i’m not made of money, ya know. This site had a google checkout, but didn’t give me the google discount, damnit. So I lost $10. I have taken advantage of it before, and apparently that’s why, but I used a different email. I guess it goes according to the computer you’re using.
I had a most accomplished day yesterday. DD10 was supposed tohave a playdate. She has been keeping her room veryneat over the last month or so (no thanks to me, mind you.)Altho a lot of her stuff just gets stuffed in the closet or her drawers.(However, that’s better than I can do with my BR.) Anyway,I wanted to make the other rooms a little more receptivefor another 10yo, so I got up at 4am and did the following:1. Vacuumed daughter's room2. cleared the front hallway path (there was a path before,But I had empty briefcases there from a vacation in April,so the path was kinda cut in half) 3. made about 4 or 5 washes (fell behind again and am trying to catch up)4. Went thru lots of papers that were on the living room floor and recycled most of them5. Washed broiler pan6. Scooped cat litter7. Swished and swiped both bathrooms (hadn’t done that in a long time.) oh, swished and swiped is a flylady term.8. Vacuumed part of the living room.Prob would have done more of it, but then daughter’s girlfriend’s father called and said that the friend was being very rude to her mother so theywere punishing her by not allowing her to have the playdate.Well, thank goodness DD wasn’t that disappointed.(And I was glad that I had an accomplished day, even if "only" the family could enjoy it.)Of course this was all during commercials of monk (my favorite show) marathon.And last night we went to see the fireworks. A good day, indeed. The reason I am singing my cleaning praises is that I am no balabusta. (For those of you who don’t know the meaning of that Jewish word, it’s a person -prob applies to a woman- who’s well on top of the cleaning in her home. Well, I am not. It is a constant challenge for me. I hate, hate, hate to clean. I actually hate to do most things. However, I must sign off now, (much to your chagrin, i'm sure.) Prob touch base with you tomorrow.
I had a most accomplished day yesterday. DD10 was supposed tohave a playdate. She has been keeping her room veryneat over the last month or so (no thanks to me, mind you.)Altho a lot of her stuff just gets stuffed in the closet or her drawers.(However, that’s better than I can do with my BR.) Anyway,I wanted to make the other rooms a little more receptivefor another 10yo, so I got up at 4am and did the following:1. Vacuumed daughter's room2. cleared the front hallway path (there was a path before,But I had empty briefcases there from a vacation in April,so the path was kinda cut in half) 3. made about 4 or 5 washes (fell behind again and am trying to catch up)4. Went thru lots of papers that were on the living room floor and recycled most of them5. Washed broiler pan6. Scooped cat litter7. Swished and swiped both bathrooms (hadn’t done that in a long time.) oh, swished and swiped is a flylady term.8. Vacuumed part of the living room.Prob would have done more of it, but then daughter’s girlfriend’s father called and said that the friend was being very rude to her mother so theywere punishing her by not allowing her to have the playdate.Well, thank goodness DD wasn’t that disappointed.(And I was glad that I had an accomplished day, even if "only" the family could enjoy it.)Of course this was all during commercials of monk (my favorite show) marathon.And last night we went to see the fireworks. A good day, indeed. The reason I am singing my cleaning praises is that I am no balabusta. (For those of you who don’t know the meaning of that Jewish word, it’s a person -prob applies to a woman- who’s well on top of the cleaning in her home. Well, I am not. It is a constant challenge for me. I hate, hate, hate to clean. I actually hate to do most things. However, I must sign off now, (much to your chagrin, i'm sure.) Prob touch base with you tomorrow.
Monday, July 2, 2007
I'M HAPPIER TODAY
I have done a lot of work today. That’s right. Shopping on line is hard work. I am exhausted. Yes ma’am. (Or sir, whichever the case may be.) I only wanted one thing, really: sun block for my daughter for when she goes to camp. However, if you purchase a certain amount, you get free shipping and handling. And if you purchase a bigger amount, you get 20% off. So of course, I purchased a larger amount. I did need all the stuff I purchased and I do enjoy shopping (esp. on line.) but it’s a lot of work. I had to find $50 worth of stuff to buy (this is from a pharmacy.) And I didn’t want to buy anything I didn’t need. And I didn’t want to buy anything unless it was a good price. And I believe I did. Of course, I also had to check the web to see if there were any other coupons for this site that I could use. Like I said, shopping on line is hard work. Phew!!!!
I am not so angry today, as I imagine you can ascertain from the tone of my post thus far. Perhaps it’s because I shopped and am pleased. Perhaps it’s because one of my supervisors is out today. Perhaps its because bitch M is out today. (Oh, bitch M is very often out. I believe she has virtually no time accumulated. I probably shdnt talk, cause till about a year ago, I was in the same position. My dd was constantly getting ill. DH could have sometimes stayed home with her (and occasionally did) but dd preferred dm be with her. And DH isn’t as attuned to dd’s needs as dm. And, DH tends to sleep the day away when he’s home and supposed to be caring for dd.
Anyway, DD gets ill less frequently and I have flextime. So I have accumulated some time. And bitch M has four kids. So if I wanted to be fair minded about it, perhaps I should take these things into account. But I don’t want to be fair-minded. This bitch said about me within my earshot about a month ago, she was listening to a song. And I can’t remember the song now, of course, and I can’t remember all that she said, but it had to do with someone tattling on her. (And believe me there’s a lot to tattle on. She leaves her desk at least half a dozen times a day-no exaggeration.) Takes smoking breaks-this is allowed in my building, however. Leaves the building. God knows where she goes. Anyway, she had the audacity to make that comment within my earshot. No, I didn’t say anything. Didn’t know what to say. Couldn’t think of anything to say. And was afraid to be confrontational. I did think of something to say after wards (isn’t that par for the course.)
I could have asked if she were talking to me, (as opposed to talking to herself.) I don’t think that’s confrontational. But I didn’t think of it at the time. I did tell Bitch A about it. She said that Bitch M was going thru something and (like all of us-not I, I should have pointed out) was finding herself a scapegoat. (My words, not bitch A’s.) She asked if I wanted her to speak with M and I said yes. It was a reluctant ask on her part. (Usually she’s more receptive to do this.) Perhaps it's because I’m soon to be not her subordinate. I’m not sure why. Whether she spoke to her or not, I’m not sure, but I believe I mentioned below recent experiences with M. (I’m being much too nice, but its time consuming to keep writing bitch M. Besides, I think you know who im talking about, anyway.
I am not so angry today, as I imagine you can ascertain from the tone of my post thus far. Perhaps it’s because I shopped and am pleased. Perhaps it’s because one of my supervisors is out today. Perhaps its because bitch M is out today. (Oh, bitch M is very often out. I believe she has virtually no time accumulated. I probably shdnt talk, cause till about a year ago, I was in the same position. My dd was constantly getting ill. DH could have sometimes stayed home with her (and occasionally did) but dd preferred dm be with her. And DH isn’t as attuned to dd’s needs as dm. And, DH tends to sleep the day away when he’s home and supposed to be caring for dd.
Anyway, DD gets ill less frequently and I have flextime. So I have accumulated some time. And bitch M has four kids. So if I wanted to be fair minded about it, perhaps I should take these things into account. But I don’t want to be fair-minded. This bitch said about me within my earshot about a month ago, she was listening to a song. And I can’t remember the song now, of course, and I can’t remember all that she said, but it had to do with someone tattling on her. (And believe me there’s a lot to tattle on. She leaves her desk at least half a dozen times a day-no exaggeration.) Takes smoking breaks-this is allowed in my building, however. Leaves the building. God knows where she goes. Anyway, she had the audacity to make that comment within my earshot. No, I didn’t say anything. Didn’t know what to say. Couldn’t think of anything to say. And was afraid to be confrontational. I did think of something to say after wards (isn’t that par for the course.)
I could have asked if she were talking to me, (as opposed to talking to herself.) I don’t think that’s confrontational. But I didn’t think of it at the time. I did tell Bitch A about it. She said that Bitch M was going thru something and (like all of us-not I, I should have pointed out) was finding herself a scapegoat. (My words, not bitch A’s.) She asked if I wanted her to speak with M and I said yes. It was a reluctant ask on her part. (Usually she’s more receptive to do this.) Perhaps it's because I’m soon to be not her subordinate. I’m not sure why. Whether she spoke to her or not, I’m not sure, but I believe I mentioned below recent experiences with M. (I’m being much too nice, but its time consuming to keep writing bitch M. Besides, I think you know who im talking about, anyway.
Thursday, June 28, 2007
angry, angry angry
I am angry, angry, angry.
And my belly hurts.
So what am I angry about, you are asking.
(oh, don’t worry abut my belly. I think ill feel better soon.)
Well, I have a bitchy coworker who sits right next to me.
And she has apparently decided not to talk to me today.
(she didn’t say good morning when she arrived.)
The bitch blames me for what goes wrong for her at work.
She thinks I rat on her.
The fact of the matter is, it’s the other way around. I cant
Do a damn thing without her running to our supervisor. Not that my
Comings and goings are any of her business. Not that it affects her in any
Way, but shes always watching to make sure I don’t get anything she didn’t get.
Shes quite immature.
And let us keep in mind that I am five grades higher than she so if I were to watch her (which I don’t- I couldn’t care less) but if I did, there wouldn’t be anything wrong with that.
But then again I don’t get the respect I deserve at my office. I have worked harder than anyone. So hard that at one point my job gave me IBS which resulted in my weight going down to 102. I am only 5’4” tall. OK, so no one in this freakin' office is aware of that cause it was about 17 years ago and I was working in a different department at the time. Nonetheless, my current but soon to be my former supervisor was singing my praises a while back. And relayed that to her supervisor. I guess I had a honeymoon for a while. Now the bitch (no not the coworker bitch, the supervisor bitch-lets call her A) is singing a different tune. And shes transferring me to another division.
Well part of the problem is the queen bitch. That’s my supervisors supervisor. She doesn’t think well of me.
Does she have good reason. No.
She just has a poor opinion of me.
And I'm furious. Just months before her promotion, I was promised an office by the director, who was formerly my supervisors supervisor. unfortunately, A dragged her feet in getting it for me. Why, you may ask. I have no idea. When we finally got the approval of the dept head who had the office, queen bitch took over and decided she didn’t want me to have an office. Fuckin’ cunt.
ok. im sure youre wondering why the queen bitch doesnt think well of me. well, i had a long maternity leave. it was legal. i didnt pull anyones leg. i didnt pay anyone off. i didnt have a rabbi. (god knows I'm not religious enough.) but early on in my maternity leave, i got ill and that allowed me to extend my maternity leave. unfortunately, queen B is in charge of leaves. no she didnt deny me my leave. she couldnt. but i think she resents it. i also think she doesnt like the way i dress or that im not poised. i guess i dont fit the stereotype of the assistant manager. and i surely dont fit the stereotype of the jewish business woman. ho ho ho. well, too damn bad.
i do a darn good job. i am extremely thorough. i am an investigator and i hardly miss a thing. however, I'm afraid i have to go now. to be contd......
And my belly hurts.
So what am I angry about, you are asking.
(oh, don’t worry abut my belly. I think ill feel better soon.)
Well, I have a bitchy coworker who sits right next to me.
And she has apparently decided not to talk to me today.
(she didn’t say good morning when she arrived.)
The bitch blames me for what goes wrong for her at work.
She thinks I rat on her.
The fact of the matter is, it’s the other way around. I cant
Do a damn thing without her running to our supervisor. Not that my
Comings and goings are any of her business. Not that it affects her in any
Way, but shes always watching to make sure I don’t get anything she didn’t get.
Shes quite immature.
And let us keep in mind that I am five grades higher than she so if I were to watch her (which I don’t- I couldn’t care less) but if I did, there wouldn’t be anything wrong with that.
But then again I don’t get the respect I deserve at my office. I have worked harder than anyone. So hard that at one point my job gave me IBS which resulted in my weight going down to 102. I am only 5’4” tall. OK, so no one in this freakin' office is aware of that cause it was about 17 years ago and I was working in a different department at the time. Nonetheless, my current but soon to be my former supervisor was singing my praises a while back. And relayed that to her supervisor. I guess I had a honeymoon for a while. Now the bitch (no not the coworker bitch, the supervisor bitch-lets call her A) is singing a different tune. And shes transferring me to another division.
Well part of the problem is the queen bitch. That’s my supervisors supervisor. She doesn’t think well of me.
Does she have good reason. No.
She just has a poor opinion of me.
And I'm furious. Just months before her promotion, I was promised an office by the director, who was formerly my supervisors supervisor. unfortunately, A dragged her feet in getting it for me. Why, you may ask. I have no idea. When we finally got the approval of the dept head who had the office, queen bitch took over and decided she didn’t want me to have an office. Fuckin’ cunt.
ok. im sure youre wondering why the queen bitch doesnt think well of me. well, i had a long maternity leave. it was legal. i didnt pull anyones leg. i didnt pay anyone off. i didnt have a rabbi. (god knows I'm not religious enough.) but early on in my maternity leave, i got ill and that allowed me to extend my maternity leave. unfortunately, queen B is in charge of leaves. no she didnt deny me my leave. she couldnt. but i think she resents it. i also think she doesnt like the way i dress or that im not poised. i guess i dont fit the stereotype of the assistant manager. and i surely dont fit the stereotype of the jewish business woman. ho ho ho. well, too damn bad.
i do a darn good job. i am extremely thorough. i am an investigator and i hardly miss a thing. however, I'm afraid i have to go now. to be contd......
Saturday, May 26, 2007
Eighteen years of oppression
i have another blog. but i stupidly listed my name there and cant be as honest as i would like to be. here i will stay anonymous and therefore say whatever i want, hopefully without reprisals. well, at least without reprisals from anyone who knows me.
i am a mess. you probably would never know it if you first met me. i am a white jewish middle aged woman. prob, at first glance, the only thing that might indicate that im not the happiest camper in the world is my weight. i am 5'4" tall and weigh 220 lbs. my weight has been a battle since childhood, and i dearsay, will be the rest of my life.
other than that, i think people think my lifes wonderful. i have a huband and daughter and live in a luxory apt building. my husband and i (and daughter) are intelligent. we both work and together we make a pretty good salary.
yea, well, all thats just hunky dory. and yet, i am miserable.
why, you ask.
well, people make me miserable. thats right. people. if i am by myself, i eat, sleep, and watch tv. i might do some chores (and i might not-thats one of my problems.) but get me out into the freakin world, and im miserable. why you ask.
well, let me start with my inlaws. they are in town now, sadly. leaving tomorrow, gladly. i know them for 18 years. 18 years! thats a loooong time, dont you think. thats how long my husband and i know each other. in a couple of months we will be married 11 years.
his fuckin' mother has given me hell since day one. really. shes a bitch. you would never know it from looking at her. you would think shes a wonderful person. well, you would be wrong. oh, im winded. i will continue this another time.
i am a mess. you probably would never know it if you first met me. i am a white jewish middle aged woman. prob, at first glance, the only thing that might indicate that im not the happiest camper in the world is my weight. i am 5'4" tall and weigh 220 lbs. my weight has been a battle since childhood, and i dearsay, will be the rest of my life.
other than that, i think people think my lifes wonderful. i have a huband and daughter and live in a luxory apt building. my husband and i (and daughter) are intelligent. we both work and together we make a pretty good salary.
yea, well, all thats just hunky dory. and yet, i am miserable.
why, you ask.
well, people make me miserable. thats right. people. if i am by myself, i eat, sleep, and watch tv. i might do some chores (and i might not-thats one of my problems.) but get me out into the freakin world, and im miserable. why you ask.
well, let me start with my inlaws. they are in town now, sadly. leaving tomorrow, gladly. i know them for 18 years. 18 years! thats a loooong time, dont you think. thats how long my husband and i know each other. in a couple of months we will be married 11 years.
his fuckin' mother has given me hell since day one. really. shes a bitch. you would never know it from looking at her. you would think shes a wonderful person. well, you would be wrong. oh, im winded. i will continue this another time.
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